A Heart Changed.

It's amazing how God can change our hearts. Last Sunday, February 22nd the team and I along with our Pastor Todd and his wife Marielena went to the jungle of la Comarca de Kuna Madungandi. It lies between the provinces of Panama and Darien. Our mission was to go a Kuna Village (Kunas are a group of native people) and share the love and message of Christ with them.

I have to be completely honest, I was not looking forward to the trip. Not because we were going to be ministering to native people, but rather it was the idea of being uncomfortable for a few days (i.e. not showering, going to the washroom in a hut, sleeping uncomfortably, etc) that got me nervous. Ever since I was applying for STINT I knew that I was going to have to go on one of these missions experiences and that I was going to have no choice but to "rough" it for a few days. I had to do a lot of praying because I didn't want to go into this experience with a negative attitude. Well I have to say that what God did in my heart blew me away!

We had to take a bus and then a 45 minute boat ride to get to the village. As soon as we arrived we were received by many Kuna women and countless children. They came straight to our boat and started picking up and taking our things to the hut were we would be staying at. It was incredible to see how friendly and hospitable they were and I fell in love with them instantly! Any nervousness or dread I had disappeared completely and God melted my heart entirely!

For me the highlight of our trip was the children. I really felt like it was God loving them through me the entire time I was there. I can't even do justice when I tell you that I absolutely LOVE those kids! They have captured my heart like no one else ever has. They longed and craved from us the affection that their parents don't give them. They literally would cling onto us, and I tried to hug them and let them put their arms around me as much as possible. I wanted to pour all the love that I had onto them because I kept feeling that that is what Jesus wanted me to do. I couldn't help but think how Jesus would never ever reject any child, and how each one of those little ones is so precious to Him. From the bottom of my heart I desired to hug every single child, look them in the eye and tell them that God loves them and that he has given them great worth. During my stay at the village God continuely brought to my mind and heart the following passage:

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. Mark 10:13-16

My heart broke for these kids. We returned to Panama City on Wednesday, Febuary 25th and the first thing I thought of when I woke up the next day was them. I could vividly see their beautiful faces in my mind and I wanted to cry. Please pray for these Kuna children that they would have a personal relationship with Jesus, that they would feel loved and valued, and that they would grow up to be men and women of God. They have all heard about Jesus and had the opportunity to see the Jesus film. It was so precious how they learned a song about Jesus. Please also pray for their physical needs; that they will have enough to eat, that they won't get sick (i.e. get diseases like malaria, which is very common there), etc.

I was humbled by God. I am thankful to him that he changed my heart and in the process taught me a lot. To think that an experience that I was hesitant about actually has turned out to be one of the most amazing things I have ever done in my life goes to show how we need to be available and open to the Lord and his plans. As much as we were there to bless the Kunas they blessed me too!

I have more stories to tell about this trip as well as let you know what it is exactly that we did there, but I felt a strong urge to write about what was pressing upon my heart. Thank you to all who pray and support what God is doing here in Panama.

Nuedi (thank you in Kuna),

Raquel

Beautiful Kuna girls that Karina and I got to bond with.

My friend Cristelana and I.

Life.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

Christianity is hard, or maybe I should say life is hard. The older I get the more I realize this is true. I´m not a kid anymore, and I know it´s only going to get tougher. A lady from church reminded me of this yesterday.

People who think that once they have accepted Christ into their hearts their lives will now be pain free are in for a big let down. I was reading Isaiah 40 last night and verse 30 caught my eye; ¨Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall.¨ As I read this I thought this is so true. I have been feeling this way lately.

In December I was really sad to think that I would be leaving Panama in a few months, but these past few days I have been deeply craving home. I have been craving small things such as my bed, but deeper than that I have longed for what´s familiar, safe and comfortable. However, there are two things wrong with this picture. First of all, if I think that life back in Canada is going to be perfect I am completely mistaken. Just like there are challenges here in Panama so I will also face hardships in Canada. Tomorrow will bring its share of new problems. Secondly, I know that my character is being fashioned and developed as the Lord continues to polish and refine me here. Although, it´s not easy I will continue to run the race as God has called me to do. I desire to finish the race strong in Panama. I love how Isaiah 40 states that God will not grow tired or weary. Thank God for this truth.

I woke up in the middle of the night with the chorus of a song called "All that I can do." I leave you with it.

All that I can do is hold onto you
And follow where you lead
Where you're leading me
All that I can do is hold onto you
And let you bring me through
It's all that I can do

All that I can do is hold onto Jesus and I can't think of anything that makes me feel more secure than that. He's reaching for your hand too. All you need to do is grab onto it.

Keep fighting the good fight.

Raquel